dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
