I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
