No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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