Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
