I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
