If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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