they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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