I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
