Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
