do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
