All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
