ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
