Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
