I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
