So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
