so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
