she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
