i would punch a child for taco bell
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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