just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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