her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
