You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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