I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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