We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize