Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
