how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
