Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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