im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize