They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
