When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
