I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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