my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
