I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
