So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize