it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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