Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize