You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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