There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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