i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
