My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
