dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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