Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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