Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
