I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
