So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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