His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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