i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
