No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize