i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm getting married
To pizza
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize