I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
