ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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