garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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