Duck Duck Cougar?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize