i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We talked him into tasing himself.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
