I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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