I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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