my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize