There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
