Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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