I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Randomize
