I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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