ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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