just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
