Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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