I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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