then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
