cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
