oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Someone came in the potted fern
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize