Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
