I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wish i was in the wii world.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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