True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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