Just mADE A PArabola og urine
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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