then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
