i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
